Great chapter! I know, I know, it took me forever to review, but I'm here now... haha anyway, dun dun it's Ryan. So, is Hailey connected to Ivory? I'm gonna bet she is. The eyes, the death dates (hehe death date... sounds so morbid). One last thing... I always figured clubs were boring! Ha!

woo go Jaime! u posted again! and in less than a month! *applauds and cheers* really good chapter, though a little shorter than usual. OMG are Ivory and Hailey like, long lost sisters or something? or maybe cousins? and yay Ryan-the-magical-pants man is here! i wonder what will happen next...post the next one soon! (that's an ORDER and NOT a request)

P.S.- aren't you supposed to be at camp?

good chapter! thanks for FINALLY updating after about a month or two (just like someone else I know...). I love the whole "Riley showing up everywhere" thing but I'm suspicous of Hailey...anyways, the part where she fell asleep in a taxi then wasn't woken up by the driver or even driven to the hotel and woke up in a dark alleyway with no money was really random. good, but random. and any random things must be explained. this also includes the empty and dark town. anyways, keep writing! post soon (*hint hint*)!

Yay! You finally updated! And I'm finally reviewing! ...So, why does Riley keep showing up? Is it a considence (I can never spell that word) or something else? Dun dun... I love the part with the Paige's mole. Details like that are awesome.
"'Umm' I start, hesitating, transfixed by her big mole. 'I would, um, like to check in?' I say, my words coming out as more of a question rather than a sentence."

don't make fun of my hero, people! Bob the Builder is probably a better person than all of you combined! Ryan has no reason to be ashamed! Bob the Builder underwear should be worn with pride! and his theme song is the greatest of all time! i'm his number 1 fan, so don't laugh at him or i will see to it that you are all killed! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
P.S.- Bob the Builder rocks my socks!

Hm... Interesting...

I'm rooting for Ivory to get strong, in-your-face-I'm-so-awesome powers. Haha, but for now I'll just have to wait. Ya know, I like Ryan. He's probably the best character in the story. That's right, screw Chase. lol, sorry Chase...

Hey jaime... know what the best line was? When, after the blank quote, Ivory says she was confused. I can so totally relate to her! Nah, jk... and soon this review will have no relevance at all because there will be a quote there. Good luck finding a quote... sadly, I got nothin'. I'm also trying to think of a title for you.

omg jaime, I forgot to review your story! Ah! I'm sorry! *sniffle sniffle* So about the chapter: This is the best line ever: "Expressing no embarrassment, he shows the laughing people his Bob-The-Builder underwear and starts singing the theme song." Anyway, I'd better go read the next chapter and find out what's wrong at home...

nice 2 chapters; very mysterious and not telling us the whole story yet. LOTS of grammar and spelling mistakes (i'm serious for once) but still great! Keep writing! (and keep editing...again...and again...and again...)

I agree, need to see more story before I can comment on the title of the story, although Ivory seems to work well enough, IMO. As for the story itself? Well, other then a few minor grammar and plot errors (like in chapter 1, you refer to the parents death as a "car accident", but in chapter 3 its now double heart attacks), I'd say your first story is off to a pretty good start...congrats and keep it up! (Oh, and magic pants? Out of all the stories I've read, that has to be a first, so bonus points for originality) -=x

hm... title ideas. tricky... hm... hm... hm... well there's "Jaime's Gay Romantic Story"... there's "Idiotic and Sensless Waste of Time and Memory Card"... well i'll get back to you when i think of more! jk it's an awesome story. however, i don't think you've posted enough to let us decide on a title. so KEEP WRITING!

yeah my P.P.S. in the previous two comments was deleted(this is getting VERY annoying), but it pretty much said something like:
Hey Jaime u have a LOT of gramer and speling mistaks, especialie in the secund chaptor. u no, u shud maek MEE yur editer, knot that infurnul KATE(i shuder wen i heer hur naim)!

Sorry i submitted my comment accidentally before i could finish it...

P.P.P.S.- NOTHING could be worse than The Pearl.

sorry the rest of my beautiful comment was deleted...

P.S.S.-