Your talent hasn't diminished. It's been a while, but this is just as good as everything else you've written.
Don't lose the ambition
-Stranger

You had me at the second line, I really love reading your poems. Take care.

I love your enjambment in the first stanza. There's a fabulous structure that creates a cohesive flow in those first six lines. The imagery is also solid (though I'm not a big fan of "red red", feels too over-the-top) and I can not only see them in that moment but feel what they're thinking - great work in only six lines.

I'm just not sure about that final couplet. It feels too abrupt and oddly out of place in a more lushly vivid piece (the first line borders on trite right now). The "however small" just feels like an odd climax, like no climax at all really. Just stagnant words.

That said, I did really enjoy this piece.

One other thing - check out the Review Marathon (there's a link in my profile). It's part of the Review Game and a great way to give and receive reviews.

Midnight

hmm.. i think there's something off in the last lines.. but other than that, great job.. nicely done ;)

Hmm, interesting poem. I'm not sure if I fully understand the significance of the last stanza it was so entirefly vague. Though who am I to complain, since I so often am vague myself. Leaves the reader guessing I suppose. Good job.