Reviews for Colored Love - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Colored Love - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

inkspatters 2008-08-08 ch 1,	abuseReview Marathon Prize! Wow, what a twist on the usual 'nothing's ever black and white, but one of the shades of grey in between.' I love how you applied this to the concept of love and changed the usual grey ending to one about pink and red and love and lust. It was really unique, I thought, anyway. One thing I didn't like was the words in brackets. I felt like they were necessary but I still didn't like them, not sure why. I guess I just felt like they detracted and took away from the rest of the poem since they snapped me right out of what you had been writing. But I loved this anyway, so good job. -Ink-
CeruleanStarGlow 2008-08-05 ch 1,	abuseI like this, it's short and to the point, but i'm thinking it would be better if you used elipsis (...) instead of parenthases around the words. When i read this i thought it was a little too... obviouse, you were tryign to use the colors as metaphors but they were too obviouse. The second time i read it i kind of got the colors as a change of mind. Only pink... for love... no, lust and red for passion... blood I think i liked the first line a lot. Transpired is a good word!
Kusje 2008-08-03 ch 1,	abuseLove the play of words with the colors and what they symbolize. I like it a lot.
Needa S 2008-07-30 ch 1,	abuseYou do have a way with words. A job well done. Write on.
HGiel 2008-07-24 ch 1,	abuseA bit hard to review something so short, but it makes for a good quick read.
MagicalThinking 2008-07-20 ch 1,	abusehardcore...i love how to the point, direct and simplistic your writing is--it just cuts straight through without any excess thought or descriptive language...great piece! Keep it up! ^_^
Fractured Illusion 2008-07-19 ch 1,	abuseFight For the Freebie review! Sad to say, I don't like this poem. You've definitely come up with a lot better and unique ones. The parenthesis are also a problem for me. It gives an amateurish vibe, which I don't think you ought to associate with har har. I also don't quite agree with the imagery. I don't really associate pink with either love nor lust. That's red. Lust and passion is also pretty much the same thing. Maybe if you changed the colors it'd make more sense? Also, why aren't there any space between the word and the parenthesis? Like this: "love (lust)", "passion (blood)"? I imagine it to be a stylistic choice, but you've kept to grammar rules up to that point so it reads weird to me. Or is that how you write parenthesis in Americano? If so I apologize. The "&" also bugs me, because it makes me wonder what ever happened to "and"? Writing things out always look better, in my mind. Unlike another reviewer, I didn't like the word "transpired". It felt formal and impersonal, and the piece itself was very revealing and thus I felt they didn't match well. Or maybe I just don't like that word at all. Dunno. If more people said they liked it, then don't listen to me. Not really sure what you mean by "blood" here. I suppose this is the good part of the poem, since that isn't such an obvious thing. You can ponder the meaning. With love, lust and passion, you can't. They are obvious. However, blood is not a feeling, so yeah, it's brood time. :p Sorry I couldn't offer much else :/ I wasn't into it and thought it bland in comparison to your other works in particular. It had no impact. And I think past tense worked fine. :p Gives the feeling that the relationship has ended. And since its labeled angst, that fits well. Frac
fatbird33 2008-07-15 ch 1,	abuseit's cute.
PhantomBialystock 2008-07-15 ch 1,	abuseShort, but sweet! I loved it! You got so much said in just a few simple words. :D
Luna Turner 2008-07-10 ch 1,	abuseI like the theme, and I love how you did the lines with the () in them. It added to the power. I loved this. thank you for writing it! :D ~Luna Turner
Midnight In Eden 2008-07-06 ch 1,	abuseReview Marathon prize! Sorry so belated. Okay, first of all as usual I did like the succinct way in which you create something so all encompassing. In only a few lines you created a number of different images that fused together to form a cohesive relationship - something I always enjoy. However, I'm not a big fan of the words in parentheses. To me they seem a bit too obvious and telling. I'm also not really sure about simply "red" or "pink". I think you could've used more specific wording there to help create a more vivid "look" and "feel" to the piece. All that said, it's not bad. I just think with some tweaking it could be greatly improved. Midnight
smile for the sunshine 2008-07-03 ch 1,	abuseinteresting. i actually think the description is really pretty.
Kikyuu 2008-07-02 ch 1,	abuseI like the use of the word 'transpired', which gives the piece a more sophisticated feeling. I also like the imagery of the colours, especially the use of parenthesises to add another dimension. Nice job.
Lorki 2008-07-01 ch 1,	abuseThis is quite interesting to me because I imagine it can be interpreted in many different ways. My favorite thing isn't the color of the imagery it was the pairing of words love(lust)(that one worked well because of alliteration too) and passion(blood) I haven't seen the & used in place for 'and' in poetry this well written before and strangely for me it didn't take away from the writing at all to have it rather then a word. I just wonder if it was intentional. overall very nice, I envy your ability to write such good poetry with so few words, I rarely can. -Lorki
monster dia 2008-06-30 ch 1,	abuseI like this. The colors are so vivid in my mind, and the imagary is wonderful.

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