Ahaha.
Marching season just ended this year, so I'm hecka nostalgic and all.

I love how you described things. Seriously. Music is love. (:

Anyway, uhh.
This CAN be expanded I guess.
If you want it to.

Or you could just leave it as a oneshot, which personally, I don't think is very satisfying.

If you're going to leave it as a oneshot though, I think you should tweak it a little. The Quinn thing only comes out during the last quarter of the fic, which doesn't really give it much room at all to develop, so if your main focus is "heart broken romance" then it's not really relevant to the fic. You started off with how proud she was of the school and marching band, so maybe you could end with that and make that your theme instead? Either that, or introduce the Quinn thing earlier on. It seems like it just randomly popped out of no where, and it doesn't really fit with the rest of the fic.

On the other hand, if you're going to make it into a full-blown fic, in which, the extraneous details could come in handy. I'd personally like to see a lot more chapters, especially since I'd love to see how the marching band aspect works into it. It's a really unique spin on things, and I can especially relate to it, so I think it's really cool.

I guess, it's really up to you.
'grats on another awesome work. (:

Eh, I like it! I vote for making it a multi-chaptered, as long as you feel inspired. I'm interested to learn more about these characters. :D

Oh my God.

I freaking love you. Okay, not in like... a creepy way. Just... I'm a band geek. I play tuba and a bunch of other instruments, including percussion. So... yeah. This makes me incredibly happy knowing that SOMEONE out there knows what it's like to be in band. Anyway, I think this was good. I've read your other stories and I think that as a writer, you capture the readers effectively. So, this is me saying that I hope you continue this story. Let me know if you'd like any tips about marching. :]

Keep it up.

Hey - I think this is pretty amazing. Maybe it's because I can relate to it a lot (I'm a band geek, too!).

However, I also think that there is a lot more you can do with it. I think it would be an great intro for an actual story.

Whatever you feel, though. But I'll keep my fingers crossed!

I love this already! It was a great start, well I hope it's the start. You ned to continue this. :D

I think this would make an amazing story.
The way you wrote the first chapter ensures that it has a lot of potential as a story and I almost think that making it a one-shot wouldn't give it the justice it deserves.
As always, your writing is amazing.
Keep up the great work!

I love it.
Of course I love all of your stuff...
But this was good.
The whole idea of a drummer and the quarterback being friends is fresh and new. And I like it. I hope you do continue with it but if you make it into a one-shot I won't be too disappointed.

keep up the good work

You have no idea how long I've been searching for THE STORY, and I have found it! Your "story" is amazing and by the way, I love the feel of halftime, a marcher's game time.

I love this, it's really good, and i know it'a jua the begining but i can tell it's going to be good, i vote for a real story!

I know what you mean about the pain, but did you know that ginger tea actually works for menstrual pains? First hand experience. And take some pain relievers. Mine are unbearable couple times a year, and then the rest of the year they're almost unbearable. Yeah.

Anyway, about this chappie, wonderful work. I guess you could do whatever you'd like with it. What I would like is for it to be continued but if you're not sure about what could come of this, or at least, for the time being, you could just leave it as a one-shot (because it would be good that way, too) and then you could come back to it later.

Just a suggestion.

Keep up the good work and those updates rolling in!

gulistanlik

Truthfully, I really think this story is meant to be more than a one-shot. The progression of it already makes it sound like an introduction to an incredible onslaught of drama! (Seriously awesome how you can do that.)

Yeah, but I do feel (as I'm sure others do) that it might turn into a cliche, and that's where I hesitate in telling you I'd like a real story.

Ah, heck. The pros outweigh the cons. You've already developed one character brilliantly, I'm sure you'll bring it on for the other (I can so feel it) and I know you can write a great storyline with your own twists and turns (and still have a happy finale for us die-hard romantics)!

Good luck with your decision, and stay comfy - the pain will go away soon!

I vote real story.

If only to drown out the horrible garage band that has formed next door. This story was such a great distraction.

Besides, I dislike unhappy romances. I'm fairly optimistic (and by fairly I mean extremely) and thus, it goes against my nature. Serious conflict.

Unless they're really well written, like really well, and that is rare.

Jen

All I can say is that I understand and sympathize.


Actually that isn't all I'm going to say - if you keep this story up and not make it a one shot, then it would be a pretty cool peice. I suggest it highly, though I worry over cliche slightly. Debate your options, but the main character is cute in an awkward way. She isn't a loner (which is a refreshing change) but she has her quirks, meaning she can develop nicely throughout the story while keeping the readers "in love" with her personality.

I'm just a bubble of niceness today, now aren't I? Take some meds and get some sleep. I as well hate being female when the time of the month rolls around.

-- Terra

I like it as a one-shot about heartbreak, especially with that "what-if" factor about what Quinn was about to say [or could have said] before Jen appeared. If you continued this bit into a full story, I'm assuming that Sarah would end up getting with a guy she really liked. Business as usual, but maybe you'd prove me wrong.

On the other hand, a happy cliche is what many of us come on here to read and escape with - heartbreak in all forms happens enough in the real world.