This chapter is extremely well done. If there is one suggestion I could make it would be to be detailed about the surroundings you place your charecters in. Aside from that your plot is excellently placed and your charecters finely designed.

spelling of course. yet i'm nit picking. anyway i like it still.

a few spelling errors and a bit of word placement. anyway i like it.

i really like it- the wording is nicely done, and i like the imagery and descriptions of the setting/characters. i'd look out for grammar, but that's about it ^-^ keep on writing!

interesting story.