Thanks for mentioning me!

"i suddenly felt too jaded"... I think that should be present tense (feel)

I liked this a lot. Your images a really amazing. The only thing I have to say I wasn't too crazy about was the switch in rhyme schemes, but the rhymes themselves were subtle and worked really well, which is better than a forced consistent rhyme scheme... lol. Anyhow the whole piece works really well and is beautiful.

"it's a polarity of rainbows/and butterflies." I did not like this line because the use of the word polarity didn't make sense... polarity is to different things and to be rainbows and butterflies are similar because they are both nature and colorful and usually used to denote happiness. Also there should be a semi-colon before this line of a period not a comma.

In the third stanza the repetition was a bit much for me. Especially with "i fly", you don't really need the "i" there at all. Also you change the rhyme scheme here and then you totally abandon it for the rest of the piece, that seemed odd.

Also in the third, fourth, fifth and sixth stanza you make that all one sentence, but it's not.

"whose got the key?"... this is actually who has, so it's who's

I love the last two lines because of of the play on the word fall, that was really great. The rest of the piece was interesting as well, it just needed some work, mostly grammatical as I said before. The descriptions, though, are really great and the idea is well done.

PS. If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)

i really like the imagery in this.
nice job.

yours until the wind changes,
gg