Profound sadness, that's all I can say.

A haunting, gripping sort of poem filled with increasing despair - very nice. I adore the line "just an empty space//within the wards" Beautiful imaginary.

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Btw, thanks for the review on "i lick my lips". :)

I really liked the structure of this piece. The stanzas and line lengths lent themselves well to the overall rhythm of the piece.

I'm just not sure about the repetition of "anymore" in that first stanza. The second one could be so easily replaced with "these days" or another phrase that it feels a bit lazy to leave it as "anymore".

Otherwise, I really enjoyed the complex brevity of the overall piece. You're using simple language but discussing more in depth ideas.

Also, check out the Review Marathon - it's part of the Review Game. There's a link in my profile.

Midnight

I really liked this. The parallel structure of the first stanza was a nice touch, though the second stanza was my favourite. I really liked the emphasis placed on 'slowly fading' and the line 'she's a vacancy now' was very effective. The last line confused me a bit though...? Anyways, keep up the good work.

-T.S.

Very nice imagery. I'm not sure if you mean to keep the first word lower case, but anyway-I think the last stanza stands out the most to me. I like it...it has a deep feeling. I also like you you italicized "Slowly fading" it really ads something.

Really good piece, you made it fit and scuplted it just right.

it's like losing someone who is important.
it's a lovely imagery which pain hides.

this is gorgeous.

yours until the wind changes,
gg

This is really good, particularly the imagery in the second verse. Well done xD

"within the wards."... that line confused me, maybe you meant words?

I like the italiczing of that one part because it was very fitting. I also like the ending because it's somewhat happy. The repetition in the beginning fit well as well. Nice job!

PS. If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)