"i hate the bright
blue sky because it reminds me"
A bit of an awkward break there becuase you broke it in the middle of a descriptions.

"and keep my feet planted firmly on the ground."
An awkward line because, 1, it's strangely long in comparison to the rest in the paragraph. Also, the description "planted firmly" is so ordinary sounding, and since I've seen that you can spice it up, I suggest using a not so common way of phrasing it. It gives more impact that way.

Not really my cup of tea poem, but I think it proved an interesting read. I like the way you phrase things.

- Frac, from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

Some of the rhyming was a little simplistic and some of the stanzas didn't really seem to fit with what you were trying to say, namely
'but it still hurts
to cry and i'm still wondering
when we'll die.'

Other rhymes were simple but fit really well, like
'so help me pick up the pieces
of my shattered heart
and make me forget your kisses
because they're breaking me apart.'

I love the overall idea of this, espeically if you took what you had going in the first two stanzas and went with that. I can understand that it is sometimes hard to put that much feeling on paper and have anyone understand, but I think you've done that.

I really like the format of the title, it's really interesting and fits very well.

"to cry and i'm still wondering/when we'll die."...this seemed odd, why you be wondering when he would die, I can see you since you're depressed, but why him?

"it leaves me dreaming"...period after that line

I really liked the play on the nursery rhyme, that was a really sweet and interesting addition. I have to say I really like the ending much more than the beginning. I felt like the beginning was less original than the ending. And by ending I mean the part from "the fatal reality" and on. The other part was ok, but not as good in my opinion.

PS if you’re bored, check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile)

Beautiful poem! I love the imagery and the way its put together!

Keep on writing!