FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Jesse the Storyteller 2008-08-16 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a really short poem that doesn't have a whole lot of words (haha) so it's hard to comment, but I think you did a good job with it. I like how the words "I cry / I turn / I drift / Away..." and "The pain / The hurt / The tears" they all come in like an inescapable flood, then the poem slows down with "Do I exist?" which catches the reader off-guard with a question that I wouldn't normally relate to all of the words that were up there. Also the ending "Meaningless / Too big / to understand" is a very nice ending. Most angsty poems just say the same cliche things over and over again... but this doesn't. "Too big / to understand" makes it sound like you've given up... that it's not so much that this is painful, it's just too big for you and is confusing. I really, really like your work haha. Please keep posting more! :) -Jesse Attack of the review marathon! (link in my profile) |
| Breaks-like-crystal 2008-06-15 ch 1, | abuseShort, but good poem |
| kloun doll 2008-06-15 ch 1, | abusewell, there are a lot of things in life that are hard to understand, it's a great poem. |