Sara
2008-06-15
ch 1, anon. | abuseThis is pretty cool. It surprised me when the hottie suddenly flicked his finger and made Yuri leave... pretty darn sweet. Maybe if you showed the readers a bit more of Elizabeth's personality - not just the fact that she's an extreme trouble-maker - we would be able to connect with her better. What is her motive for doing all these bad things? Where did she learn all her persuasive techniques? Stuff like that :]. Anyway, keep up the good work! This is a highly interesting story. |
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