Wow, I really like this piece. It's very dense for a poem, but you are a strong writer and so it really helps the piece. It has vivid imagery, and I'm rather impressed.

Keep Writing!
Coma

I really liked this poem, from title to conclusion. I especially liked
"silence-screaming, retribution-scheming, apocalypse-dreaming". It had an amazing rhythm.
I liked the idea and the great imagery. Very, very good. (:

f*, this one really hit home.

very sad but beautifully written.
"freezing the tears into scars across my cheeks" -this line hit me hard and i really liked it! the last stanza was really good too! i enjoyed reading it

OH MY GOSH... amazing... just amazing.
I'm speachless... wonderful job.

So sad. ;-;

great write. i think i like the last stanza the best, but the rest is awesome as well.

rowan.

This really was heart-wrenching. The type of poem that makes you gape in how horrific parents can be, and all the more how horrific parenting can be. How a child sometimes deserves better parents, but there is no one qualified [or able] to do the job. And more how we can feel so rejected by those who are supposed to love us not only more, but most. It's difficult and it hurts and slowly breaks us down like diluted acid was poured down our throats. Just so discouraging and makes us question everything we know and want ourselves to be.

I really loved the imagery and word-choice you used in this poem. It was beautiful and sometimes harsh, but wonderful. Especially the last stanza. Wonderful job.

konnichi wa

Favorite line:

"I'd like to kill myself with pills except I'm only twelve, thirteen-fourteen-fifteen,
how old am I now?"

It just sounded so lost, so helpless, so I-don't-know-what-to-do-anymore.

Sorry this is such an unhelpful review, but I just really wanted to comment because this poem REALLY touched me. Normally my reviews are more coherent and all around better, but I'm not feeling too well at the moment; so everything comes out sort of... well, like this. But I wanted to tell you how much I loved this poem anyway.

Ha det
-Shan-

ohmygod, this is so heartbreaking and beautiful,
i'm sure alot of people have felt like this before,
like they just dissapoint there parents and don't feel
they're worth it, like they're nothing, just a sillioutte
burning behind a fallen shadow of a person they never
could be [oh, does that make sense? never mind]

everything about this seems so real and the words
caught in my throat

(the only thing i felt that was a -bit- awkward was
in the fourth stanza in the first line you use the
word 'tears' and then in the second line too, and
maybe in the second line you could subsitute it for
another word, i dunno, you're alot of a better poet
then me.)

Quite a blow-my-mind-away-utterly-and-completely piece of writing~

It's refreshing to see the dark side of things, and this is beyond dark, this is black, midnight black, pitch black like a basement extinguished of all lights. A sad, desperate and bitter sort of tone shadows beneath it all. I like this.(a lot)

"june 15: starting tomorrow, i'll be gone a lot for the rest of the summer.
i know i still have to get back to people for reviews, and i'll do that as soon as possible."

Take care :)