FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Harmonic Discord 2008-06-15 ch 1,  | abuseStraight from the Review Marathon (link in profile) This definitely struck a chord - I think it's something a lot of people can relate to (although I'd hate to be the one left behind :-\) This poem has a really nice style - the rhythm and repetition work well. It carried me along. My only crit is that it's a little long, and it felt slightly repetitive toward the middle. Maybe breaking it down into stanzas would help. Overall, nice work - keep writing! |
| Luna Turner 2008-06-15 ch 1, | abuseI know exactly what you feel like. It sucked at the end of the year for me, but for you it must suck more because of graduation. Very moving piece, I love the word usage and the way you put your pain about graduation, and missing your friends. Loved it. Very much. This is going on my favorites. ~Luna Turner |