i love the last line. again its beautiful in a twisted sort of way. keep writing you have some talent

"her teddybear falls limply to the ground beside her, she lets out a small, oblivious whimper. and that is the last sound no one will hear."

the overall piece is incredibly haunting, but these lines most of all. desolate and negligent, echoing eerily in the mind. brilliant.

Eliot, such brilliance that a single line can spark the imagination. This was great, great homage to the piece. Liked 'thwart the final judgement'.

This was amazing. Just utterly amazing.

I love how there's no capitalization and run on sentences are THE BEST. I've always loved those.

The punctuated 'no' is very good too. It makes it more bold and makes the tone of the belief more solid. I've been meaning to read T.S. Eliot for the longest time. Now, I shall have to.

I really like this becuase it's sad and tragic and all, but it also makes you think. I feel like I've heard the last line before, "that, is how the world will end. not with a bang, but with a whimper." I don't think there should be a comma between that and is, though.