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| Catcher in the Rye 2008-07-09 ch 4,  | abuseupdate soon please |
| Lee's ghost re-born 2008-07-06 ch 4, | abuseNice! |
| Catcher in the Rye 2008-06-28 ch 3, | abuseIt got harder to understand Krissy but well done anyway! Update soon |
| Catcher in the Rye 2008-06-28 ch 2, | abuseJoey's only seven? She seems so much older haha I thought she was more in seventh grade but you probably did that on purpose. I didn't like the dialogue much in the beginning but I really liked how Krissy talked. I could just hear her accent. It was very creative and cool. |
| Boooklover 2008-06-22 ch 3, | abuseVery good story here. However, you don't need to write the way people pronounce every single word; it's easy enough to imagine most of them without the different spelling. |
| line the pieces up 2008-06-21 ch 2, | abuseKrissy's accent is *barely* decipherable. Maybe you should describe what kind of regional accent it is instead of writing it out and giving your readers headaches. *Some* accents are slight enough to be written out, for example: "Tha's enough fer me, thanks." But this: "Zat ees enoove foor me, zank joo." Is just painful, especially if the dialogue is for a main character. |
| Lee's ghost re-born 2008-06-21 ch 3, | abuseShe really is! You have two chapter 2's I think. I don't think you need to spell out the accent so much, gives me a wee headahce. But much loveage, keep it up! |
| Boooklover 2008-06-19 ch 2, | abuseOnce again, very good. I like Krissy, the accent's really effective in making Joey seem like an outsider. Keep it up! *Kumquat growls ominously* |
| Lee's ghost re-born 2008-06-19 ch 2, | abuseWonderbar! |
| Lee's ghost re-born 2008-06-17 ch 1, | abuseAww..poor Joey! What happened to nose kissin jojo? Sad but me like. |
| Boooklover 2008-06-17 ch 1, | abusePoor Joey! Kill off the uncle! *evil maniacal laughter*. I love Jessie's fashion style, she's really original! KEEP WRITING, OR I'LL SET MY PIGMY PUFF NAMED KUMQUAT ON YOU! |
| Catcher in the Rye 2008-06-16 ch 1, | abuseThis was so sad and completely engrossing. I couldn't peel my eyes away and you have a really nice and distinct writing style. Update soon please! |