FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2008-06-24 ch 1,  | abuse"It's like your there"...you're "It's like your here"...you're The first four lines seemed odd to me. Asking them if they knew what it was like to be so close or so far because it seemed like you were talking about how you were close& far to them and how would they know how it feels to be close or far from themselves? Maybe I'm missing something. I like the piece though, especially the first two lines of the last stanza. The descriptions are also nice (though the word dread seemed forced to rhyme with shred). |
| Blood Candy 2008-06-19 ch 1, | abuseThat was so pretty...it captured the feeling of missing someone so well! It flowed so smoothly...it was very fluid, yet very sad... You're so talented! I was so close to tears when I finished reading :( Kudos to you! |