Reviews for Fallen - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Fallen

ThatGirl223 2008-06-22 ch 1,	it won't go away. it is part of you. and you can handle the avalanche of emotions, but not by turning yourself off to them, only by accepting them. you can't plan for how to react to a death, or how to comfort others, it just happens. death an i have developed an awfully close relationship in my life. i have no answers, no one does. the first two deaths i reasonably dealt with. they were my great grand parents and i was 10, and 12 when they died. when i was 18, my uncle murdered my aunt then shot himself. when i was 19 my grandmother, who had pretty much raised me died. she had had a long bout with cancer, and refused to get treatment. i took care of her from the time i was 15, by the time i was 18 she could barely move and had lost so much blood she should have been dead. one night i finally convinced her to let me take her to the hospital. she was treated and after surgery healed. two months after the night i took her to the hospital, is when my aunt was murdered, my grandmother died nearly exactly one year to the day my aunt did. for that last year all she did was talk about her dead daughter. through all of that i thought i would not survive but i found something odd happens when death enters your life, you get stronger, you find you just keep breathing, and you breath, eventually you live again. when i was 23, my recently ex whom had lived with me since i was 17 died of a heart attack in the bed of his new girlfriend...they had been up that night smoking crack. i stopped breathing. i begged for death to just take me, because it was too much to bear. one night i stood in my grandfathers yard and began to scream and i couldn't stop, he literally had to slap me across the face to bring me back from whatever waking hell i had fallen into. he sat me down and went to his room and took out his "bag of death" (as my nana used to refer to it as) he showed me pictures of his father who died when he was 13, of his brother and new wife who died in a car accident newspaper clippings of the stories of the accident. there were other brothers who died in other awful ways too and he had all the pictures and funeral cards, and newspaper stories, or obituaries. his mother, other sisters, so much death in that bag. my aunt, my grandmother, all of in that bag...then he showed me a small clipping of my ex's obituary that he had added to the bag... he told me that i didn't have a choice, death takes who death takes and i'll never have a say in it, the only thing you can do is breath and accept. my grandfather died when i was 25. sometimes i tell people i am the angel of death, sometimes i believe it. somewhere inside me i know death lives. but i know now too that it is more important to be a part of each moment that passes you by than to futilely resist that which has already happened. maybe you don't know how to comfort your father, or to tell him it will all be ok, but there are no right things to say. maybe out of nowhere if you hugged him, and told him that the loss hurts you too, and that you love him. sometimes it is not about the words we say, it is about what we do. you both have shared an experience that will remain part of who you are forever, let it bring you closer together. Every action has an equal and opposite re-action. The experience of death is not immune to that law...it may be devastating, but it doesn't have to end at that, death makes us grow, makes us be stronger, and can bring us closer to others around us. don't waste your time wondering how, just being there, as he has been for you. death reminds me that time and what i do with it is pretty much all life is. choosing to bottle up all your anger and hurt and frustrations is hurting you. it is wasting your time. being so full of all your anger and pent up frustration as you said is already having it's effect on your temper and the lack of control you have over it. why do you keep it all in? let go, it isn't doing you any good. you are too young to be so bound. i know i was there once, and i still find myself struggling to free myself. it is natural and needed to feel what you feel, and allow those feelings to be heard. holding in your anger only hurts you. declaring your anger with its source could be what is needed for any change to happen. anyway i wrote too much i know and i'm sorry. but i felt compelled. i hope you soon find a way to breath easier and experience your life second by second...
Ixchella Samara 2008-06-22 ch 1,	Beautiful piece. And I'm really sorry about your grandparents.
rippling iris 2008-06-21 ch 1,	well, i can't say i understand what you're going through. if fact, i can't even begin to imagin it. but--if it means anything--you have my love. i'm glad that you've found your vent and trust us strangers with your pain. feel free to pm me if you want to talk.
half-sketched.staccatos 2008-06-21 ch 1,	konban wa I'm the same. I'll talk to my friends with things that may seem important in my life but aren't at all - completely inane. But then when the big stuff comes, I bottle it up because I'm completely uncomfortable showing it. Mostly because I know what I'll get from them: pity or sympathy, which is understandable but I DON'T WANT IT. I can't stand it. So I say nothing. The worst (or best in my PoV) part is that I'm pretty good on picking up when there's something wrong with somebody, and I use that ability to make myself the opposite. So nobody notices when there's something wrong. It's definitely easier for me to open up to strangers through my writing. Since you won't tell anyone, you'll have to have reviewers instead. I won't go into the pity and the sympathy and all that crap. Just wanted to say: I'm sorry. Ha det -Shan-
East-0f-Eden 2008-06-21 ch 1,	i loved how you expressed your emotions in this piece. it was really alieve.
Taltush/MeiMei 2008-06-21 ch 1,	Is everyone you can't see necessarily a stranger? Anyways... You just nearly made me cry. And the only reason I didn't cry is probably because today is one of those rare days when I managed to stop myself from crying on every occasion where I needed to cry. So there you have that. I have to say this blandly, but this completely and absolutely hit home, if only because I went through something similar in the last year (but only with one grandparent) and have basically not discussed it with anyone except my notepad, which I occasionally showed a few others. But seriously, there's not much I can say here, is there? I could say the truth and point out how amazingly written this is, that it captures reality and at the same time absolutely came from a place deep inside. I could say that I believed it's called pancreatic cancer. And I could talk more about myself. I could sympathize or give an internet hug. But those would all be... inadequate. I'll say this - memoirs and memories are important. And this one is touching and special. So I will tell you that I'm really sorry to hear your grandparents passed away. I really hope you figure out how to cope with the pain, because as I've learned the last few months, it does suck. And if writing this is what will help, I'm really glad you wrote it. Sorry for any insensitivities.

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