hey birdie.i especially like how you use the I, I, I for the first really makes her sound self-centered. one thing: its everyone could see my maybe use pores because its written really simply (which in this case is a good thing) and blemishes (as a longer word)seems slighthly out of place. good job though:)

Well done... the line, "Everyone cold she my blemishes." should say" Everyone could see my blemishes...

Its a very hard topic to write on...and a very important one. :) very good. Keep up the good work! :)

powerful poem. it makes you think. most people don't realize how good we have it here in america, we don't realize that there are people out there with much harsher and harder lives than our own. i thought it was a good comparison

the only thing that i saw that should be fixed is "Everyone cold she my blemishes." should be "Everyone could see my blemishes."

write on ]

I like the comparison, I think that it would look great next to each other. My suggestion for that is you can put dashes to space the second one over. You'll end up with dashes between the lines, so I dunno if that is better or not. Nice job.

well, her scared a bit, that's really a horrible day, makes me think sometimes losing a test or a dog aren't so bad..

OMG! This is such a great poem. It brought tears to my eyes and caused my heart to ache. And it's so true.