 Isilthrar 2009-06-10 . chapter 1Amusing and nicely short. However, get rid of the underlining and for goodness *sake*, stop having your sentences run into each other! I've told you this before darling.
"Her brown hair and emerald eyes pierced the little girl."
Sorry, that just gave me the mental image of the girl being stabbed by the face. It's not good imagery to use. Or perhaps I'm just violent... eh.
See ya.
- Isilthrar |