Oh god another one of THESE stories...

To warn you, please use a spellcheck; for as much of a fan of werewolves and vampires, you even spell the terms wrong. It might make people read your story (if they could get pass the cliche) if you have a well-spelled summary. The story also has spelling errors, like 'hallucination' and stuff.

The part that REALLY bugged me on top of stilted dialogue is the stupid dream/flashback sequence that seems to be on EVERY CLICHE STORY LIKE THIS. I am not serious. It always starts with some needless flashback about the main girl character's father/mother/family/brothers dying which gives the character her motive for revenge or conflict. The problem is that I could hardly give a darn.

The main character is a true klutz about this 'hallucination' - she really says stupid things like questioning why she even has such a thought in the first place. It's called 'your subconscious is making you act this way because you need to grow up'.

All in all, I do not like this story all that much. I suggest fixing it up grammically and making the plot a bit more original.

~Snuffie