i've read this poem over a few times,
i never really knew what to say.

this seems almost...cruel,
and i adore how you put part(s) in italics
like being whispered, being passed. i'm
not sure.

I think that the end sentence in italics/parenthesis should have been a part of the poem - it seems odd hanging off to the side like that.

Great poem, great images, great writing. But in the first line of the second stanza, I think the "unveil" and "revealing" verb choice was a bad one. Unveil wasn't that bad, but "revealing" doesn't seem to fit... revealing is something that is done slowly and with suspense... wrinkles kind of blatantly show what's going on.

I don't understand why "Hide from yourself..." was in italics. It would have fit into the poem better if you let it be just like the rest of the poem - it's a good enough sentence, dramatic enough and powerful enough, to stand out without your help.

Great poem.

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)

i read this a while ago actually( guilty of looking through the "just in" page) but i am just now getting around to reviewing.

clearly the title drew me in. but the poem itself is what made me come back and review. there's a sense of honesty to this...the kind that leaves bruises and deep impressions on your skin but you don't remember where you got them the next day.

basically, i'd just like to say that i loved it.

you had Now and Laters and didn't give me any!! Oh the hurt, the rejection...I think you just wounded me...

:cough:
yes, well be that as it may, I agree with Vic, very angsty here and you missed a '-' between "don't" and "give" but w.e.

Still like it despite you not sharing the candies. meanie. Last line is awesome. Laters

Oh the angst...xD Seems everyone's angsty lately. But well done.