That sucks. I mean, it's good that their getting their feelings out, but I kind of feel bad for Cas...

Uh-Oh. Yikes, that sucks. Good story though.

DUN-DUN-DUN. LOL. I like the way that this chapter ended. I kinda want to slap him a little. Grr. It's agravating. Anyway, poor Darell. Update soon, please! :D

I was laughing this whole time! Their chemistry has really changed, and it's nice. They went from being mean, to laughing and joking. I love Darell's personalitly- it reminds me of one of my friends. Funny and stupid and perverted... Yep, that about sums him up. LOL. Cute chapter.

Aw. I like this a lot. :D :D It's so sweet. Star better break up with what's his fac though. Is Chieko is little sister or something? I don't know if it said it or not. Anyway...

I found a couple of mistakes. I'm not sure if this is right or not, but it Darell's POV, it said, "Later when I got home... where me and her stood, or where her and Cas stood," I THINK it's supposed to be "Where she and Cas stood." I'm not sure. It sounds funny when I read it. Ask someone else. LOL.

Other than that, great!

Aww. This is sweet. The point of view things got a little confusing. One minute you'd be using She and He, then it be I and we. It's a little confusing. But other than that, it's good.

aw, star and darrell are so cute. haha.
Good job, great start.

Your summary sounded cute and cliche which was why I want to give the story a read.
Your writing is somewhat awkward to read, mainly because you shorten lots of the word to "chat" speak which is really annoying. Furthermore, you write as though you are speaking the story so you don't have enough details about the setting, the characters, etc. to make this story come to life.
I suggest getting a beta to correct your words, shortening them into "cuz" and "wanna" is just really annoying. Using it in dialog as part of characterization is okay, but using it in the narrative and asking the reader a question with "wanna" seems silly.
I also suggest more caution with your word choice (variation rarely hurts).
Good luck with your writing.

The story line is a little cliche but overall pretty good.

Make sure you stay in one point of view at a time. You went from using "I" to using "She". I'd pick one and since your using a narrator I'd stay in first person (I).

Also switching between 'points of view' in stories is a bit ameteur. I'm not sure where that started but it shows up a lot on these fiction sites. I would stay in one point of veiw at a time. If you practice doing this it will help your writing greatly in the future. =]

But overall good job. I really enjoyed it. I hope I don't sound too critical but on your homepage you said you want to become a writer so I wanted to tell you everything I could think of. lol

Good luck and keep practicing. =]

Good chapter! Update soon!

Somewhat a cliche, but still well written. I like the descriptions, though I would like if you described the characters a bit more.

HI I love this chapter plz plz plz plz write more to ths one i am really into these kinds of books and i have been dyin to read more i check in every day to make sure that you wrote more PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ WRITE MORE
I AM BEGGING YOU


FROM,
MICHELE

P.S. PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ
THANX