i dont think the dairy point of veiw does the story justice. i feel it would be better as first person. but the ideas are really good.

It's cool, but em Demeter is only Goddess of the Harvest not earth. Gaea is the titan of earth. Do you know about any minor gods and goddesses. I know a bunch! Have you read PJO? Percy Jackson and the Olympians? If you have my fanfiction name is Sunnybunny427. Please read and review my story here and on fanfiction. Okay then! :) :D

Um, wow. It's been years. And, surprisingly (looking at how much I read), I still vaugely remember the plot of your story and recognized the title instantly.

-Silvermoon

It could use some more detail - what's given is pretty basic, if any is given at all.

Apart from that I like it.

good so far... cant wait till u update. cant wait till u write your bit about Oz. if you didn't already know- i am an auzzie. I wonda what you think its like here. gum trees are the best. i feel like hugging them. (my moment of sugar induced randomness).keep writing!

-Silvermoon

ABIGAIL you had me excited for nothing you jerk :) ... But i guess its better then nothing lol keep at it!

nice story line.. and the writing is good... although the first chapter is probably the worst... it all happened too quickly and it wasn't very descriptive. Keep up the good work and update soonish!

cool chapter...a lot less forced with the dialogue...great improvment

Amazing is all i can think to describe how fantastic this story is

good story so far...try and slow down a bit and take some time on details.

TIP

when you're using dialogue try and think of stuff that you'd actually honestly say to someone. don't be afraid to use slang and break gramar rules (seriously-how often do people abide by rules when they're just talkin with friends). get loose with your words and don't make their conversations seem too robotic...

here's a completely random example between...let's say...Bob and Sue...(sorry about any spelling errors)

-Begin-

"Hey, Sue?"

"Yeah?"

"Are...umm...are-are...are you gonna go to the dance n-next Friday?" Bob stammered embarrassedly. Sue's felt her cheeks grow warm.

"Uh...umm...well...I uh...wasn't planning on going, but uh...if you want me come I will" Sue replied trying to keep her cool.

"W-well...I was wondering...if you...possibly wanted to go with me?" He said getting a little more confident.

-End example-

I hope that helped. Keep on going! I look forward to more.

I love this story!

It is a great story, keep at it!

I love this story, I think you should keep on writing! :)

interesting...

you should watch out and try not to make it seem too much like your just talking...umm...yeah...maybe add a bit more detail?

...either way...it's a good story line...