Your summary really drew me in, and that's good. As were your descriptions.

The last paragraph needs a little work though. Whenever a different person speaks it should be a new paragraph.

But anyhow, good start. More soon?

I really liked the opening. It was dramatic and intriguing. I liked the way that you described Henry too – very short and too the point.

The last paragraph didn’t seem as good as the rest though, although I can see what you were trying to do. Maybe cut out the speech or something and actually describe what they said to each other. Just my opinion though.

You did spell mythological wrong as well.
I do want to know what is going to happen next. You have set up something which could go a lot of places and I’d like to see what you have in mind…..