somehow this remains me of the book 'insomnia.' it's nice but a little akward at places and some words like the 'and' in the third line seems misplaced or unnessacary, and i think it would be better if it was 'they' instead. then in the eighth line i think it would make more sense if you put 'in our flesh' instead of just 'in flesh.'

this maybe could use a little word & editing but i adore the words you used. taking my 'advice' may not always be the best idea though, mhh.