It seems like everyone is whoring around with each other. What the...? Oy vey!

Go Momma Morgan for noticing Leslie's 'friend' was a man and not a boy. How appaling, though those are not my personal views. Moving on.

The smut is saddening. It makes my writing look like Shakespeare. I hadn't even finished the chapter when I wanted to slap myself. Good thing for Depeche Mode playing in my ears to prevent that.

I will have to agree wtih another reviewer, Leslie does seem kind of bratty. And it almost looks like Mr. Perry just stopped by for a one night stand, you know?

I'm done; I have my own crap to write so I'll leave you to it.

great story, wish you could write a sequal to it, too me it sounds like their story is not over yet.

Alright, I'm going to be straight up with you. The main problem with the story is that the writing's just not very good. Detail is minimal, it moves WAY fast, and sometimes details are quite random. To have a good story, the basis is good writing.

Now, that being said, your story was not, in any way, shape, or form, bad. Your plot ideas were really interesting and shocking without having shock-factor overload. There was a nice balance between plot twists and lulls in the action, which made it a pretty alright read. I loved the way you started off with a bang in the first chapter, but there was ZERO background story to it, like how their relationship started for example.

Also, your main character isn't exactly likeable. This isn't a bad thing if that's what you're going for. But to me, Leslie just seems like a brat. That's just my opinion. This came across in extreme when she left Mr. Perry.

Another thing about the part where she leaves Mr. Perry: honestly, that is really just a terrible reason. Think about it; would you leave someone you love so dearly, as much as Leslie claims to, because he spends a little too much time with his buds? Without even talking about it? If you could come up with a more realistic reason, it would be much better and more satisfying.

Overall, it shows promise. I'm sure if you write more, you'll be a natural. You do have lovely ideas that are really gripping, but working on the writing would do it worlds of good.

Well, Damn... I want more...

Well, Damn. That didn't end well...

Yay! Happy me again! :)

Oh my gosh.. :(

Well, that was nice. Lol. I'm glad they're together. :)

Aw... Ima cry. ;(

He's gonna be with Leslie.

That asshole.

Damn him...

Aw! He loves her, too. :)

(The mixed -First Person- and -Third Person- is kind of distracting though.)

Hehe, I loved it :):)