aww thats just mean! you cant leave it there! who is it!?

write more!

now!

go on chop chop :P

Kat x

aw , theyre pretty cute .(:
-sean .

but anywho ,
this is too short !
update , pleasee ?
(:

lol i really like this story ,
keep it up , kay ?
(:

i love the characters ,
mainly angel & the dad .
actually just them .
(x

im impressed :) this is really good :) write more! :P x

oh wow this is really good write more!

kat x

Hmm... interestingly cool. That was the devil's POV, correct? I would make him sound more... elegant? I dunno, that's just my opinion, have fun writing!

lol, the daughter of Lucifer named angel. Very interesting. You pulled off the short chapter well.
~Myself

You're going to continue this right? It sounds promising because it's an interesting storyline. I like some of the images you used to describe the characters, they were very vivid, such as "glowing white glory". If I was you, I'd make it so he doesn't say "wtf" because it's a bit off-putting and doesn't really belong in a story like this.

"second in command," ->change the , to a .
“Hello Lucifer" needs a comma after Lucifer

“She’s yours Lucifer, yours and hers but since she’s half and half..she cant stay with us. Her mother did name her though, say hello to your daughter, Angel.’’
Punctuation isn't great. ->
"She's yours, Lucifer. Yours and hers, but since she's half and half she can't stay with us. Her mother did name her though. Say hello to your daughter, Angel."

If you continue this I'll be interested in reading it.

This is...interesting. I am interested to see where this is going. There are some spelling/grammar things that probably should be fixed. When aletred, your work will clean up a whole lot. I want to see where and how this develops.
Nice job.