 Poppy A. Palindrome 2008-07-06 . chapter 1... XD I *love* "Dust on the Wind".
Anyway... good job. There were a couple parts here and there where dialogue seemed a mite shoddy, or the character seemed to internally ramble a bit much, but other than that... good. Very nice.
I really appreciate that you went above and beyond with this vampire story, instead of "man and woman in city. Man vampire. Woman not. Have lots of sex. the end". Urg-- I hate that most. But, you actually wrote something that leaves *me* curious. I honestly *do* want to see how he gets out of this. Wonderful job. Work on realistic dialogue and try not to ramble too much in internal dialogue.
One more note-- I really like how consistant the character is. :D Very nice.
~Aermis |