Your fiction is poetry. I love.

This is really awesome

Please do not delete this! It's fantastic!

The epitome of hyper-lyrical language.

I liked it. The thing you have to be careful about, is knowing when to overuse the detail for the story, and when to just give some strong details that will make the story pop more. This one, I think you could take some of the details out and it'll be stronger, because the details you'd have would stand out more. Just my thoughts. Keep it up. :)
Faith

"His heart beating for his eyes like something exotic an shifting" That blew me away! You are evolving, so for God's sake, please do not delete. This is different--I see traces of old yet explosions of new, and as always, it is brilliant. You are too hard on yourself, but every artist I know always is...JUST KEEP WRITING! If someone doesn't like it, screw them!

McKinley