Jeez! I like your style of writing! Damn, you can write poetry! D *faves* Keep it up!

I liked the mood of it. And the kind of limited vocabulary.

And I like what it's saying. It can be taken in a sad way, among a few others.

But I didn't like the lack of capitals. That's something that always bothers me. And how you did the lines, it's kind of different. Not necessarily in a bad way though.