Your writing is extremely purple and at times bordering on pedantic. The overuse adjectives/adverbs never fails to put a damper on any essay.

If you feel your piece will be lackluster without excessive descriptions, research your topic and fill the gaps in your writing with facts rather than poetic speculations. While your essay is pleasing to the eye, once past the metaphors and standard sheet of 11th grade vocabulary it's really quite uninformative.