I like the poem, and the distorted structure of it gives it more emotion and meaning than if it was in a normal poetry structure (which I think is boring, anywa). Keep writing.

-x-Eilish.

I really like how you don’t know what it is you can’t say until the very ending, that left you curious. I also like all your descriptions of not speaking, they were not redundant and were interesting. Italicizing real worked really well too. Great piece.

But since you’re looking for constructive criticism, the one thing I would say is it’s kinda like prose in poetry form. I think you could use some more poetic devices. Either some powerful word choices, some metaphors or something.

PS If you’re bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile).