|Reviews for Turned|
| B. J. Winters 7/18/08 . chapter 1
No reviews here, so it begged for feedback.
I like that you chose no punctuation - given the imagery of flight having any artificial form of constraint would pull away from the flow. The apostrophy's too leave you with that quick and tight feel.
I'm not sure I like the Christ image. It ties to the angels at the end, but overall I think the religious isn't necessary. That could be personal projection - if spiritual was the intent then certainly don't change it. It fits, it just side tracked me.
Loved the heartbeat lurch line.
I would have liked some sound imagery. Again, not that it's lacking - the piece stands alone - I was just surprised it was missing.
Good read as always.