Hey Lera! This is off to a great start! But I'm kind of confused with all the people. That sounds like a cool website and I like the name of it. I REALLY want to know why this is called Shoelace Necklaces. I was wondering if you can send me a message everytime you update this because I don't want to make an account if I'm only reading one story! THANKS! GREAT JOB! UPDATE SOON!
~Jessi

This is really good! I like it a lot and hope you update soon. Did you know that there really is a ? It's not really like what you discribed, it was kind of weird and I didn't stay on it long, but I just thought I'd let ya know. It's a weird compulsive thing I've got. If someone mentions a website I just have to go see if it exists. So anyway the story is really good and I hope you update soon.

Tootle,

Roselyn Flores

That was a pretty good beginning. I really like your dialogue. It's well developed, and provides the characters with depth. One thing I would suggest is to make Devin's thoughts in italics, instead of with ' and '. Thoughts are usually put into italics, so it's easier to distinguish between them and the story. (:

Keep up the great work! I'm sure it'll turn into a wonderful story. :D

p.