I really like the last few lines. That's touching. Otherwise, it was pretty good. This theme has been used before, but those last few lines energized it. I did dislike the use of "stupid"--too simple and biased for a poem that is otherwise complicated, well-written, and biased. Too blatant. "could you have done more" needs a question mark, but tis a pretty good poem, with decent rhythm and good description ("the barrel hot" was a particular favorite).

I actually liked this. The rhyme scheme was good at the start... then ya kind of lost it... but you redeemed it with a nice ending. I loved the naive, frail connotations of 'tin-hats' and the line 'hide beneath the guise of duty' was great. Too true as well. Anyways, keep up the good work.

-Silence, courtesy of The Roadhouse, a great way to get reviews (link in my profile).