It seemed a bit shallow...
Itstoolatenow

haha. i wish you much luck on your fp journey and beyond ~ :)

oh, and i do applaud your rhyming skills, my rhyming is completely nonexistent.

Very very well done. This is so great. As a writer, it is pretty much my new mission state ment :-)


Totally going on my faves.

This poem seems so similar, probably because most poets do want to inspire such things in their readers. Even I...though my mission in poetry has changed many times and even now I don't know what I truly want from it. I just...do.

Anyway, I liked the poem. It was short and the rhyme scheme was good. I'm one for imagery, but this poem didn't really need it. The only thing is probably anyone could have written it, so what I would work on [if I were you] would be to incorporate images, and adjectives in your poems, to express what you're wanting the poem to feel and perhaps even give subtle metaphor. But this was good, and welcome to fictionpress. You seem to have a good start already.

As Always
Ashelin

great
i liked the rhyming