alas, another present from the review marathon:)
i really liked the story of this poem and the message it has. There was good descriptions and word choices here, especially in the line: "Snowy petals stain with blood."
One grammar thing. with these two lines. "as if her prayers are answered Scarlet beads consume." there sould be a comma in between the two i beleive, it would flow better that way i think.
~fatbird:)

I see it as the daisy longed to be accepted by everyone around her, but since everyone had conformed they were all the same. And now she has lost her individuality and become part of the faceless mob. I think the moral (if there is one) is to be yourself and don't lose your individuality. If you lose that, you lose yourself. And what's the point if you're not you anymore, but a ghost of what you once were?

I like it... I love the message, but to me, it doesn't seem to be a positive one. It says that oftentimes unique people don't want to stand out, and end up losing the very things that make them who they are.

I love the haiku style. It is used effectively. Your word choice is exquisite.

konban wa

How do I interpret this? Hm, good question.

Well, we start off with the first haiku. That one is simple enough: about a person wanting to fit in so badly. Not just fit in but become part of the people she believes are most beautiful (ie. the roses). In the second quasi-haiku, her prayers are answers... she conforms and becomes what she wants. But scarlet beads CONSUME, they swallow her. They take not only her outside but her inside as well so that she becomes lost in what she wanted to be to the point where she loses what she truly is.

Snow symbolizes purity. As herself she was pure, but now she has stained herself with blood. By denying herself who she is, she becomes tainted - she becomes like THEM.

And now the last haiku... all of a sudden, standing with them, she is lost. She no longer knows who she is. She got what she wanted and now must pay for it. "Lost at sea." She denies her true self to the point where she is no longer that person, "a daisy no more" because she is NOBODY.

How'd I do? *grin* I love interpretations.

As much as I would love to read on, my mind has finally given me a moment of respite. I think I will seize the opportunity and turn in.

Gute nacht
Sweet dreams
-Shan-

beautiful

Wow, you had a lot of reviews for this. xD

I really liked how you didn't say how to interpret this. That way, people can take it and find what they think it means. So it's "universally appealing".

(I thought it meant that what we want to become, we sort of will, whether that's a good thing or not.)

It's very parallel! Of course that comes from using the haiku formula, but it was nice for this. It made it clean and simple and I enjoyed reading it because of that. ;D

Um, my interpretation is that when we mimic those whom we admire, we end up losing our innocence. I think that "stained" might be more suitable that "stain". Still, I appreciate all your lovely metaphors. I hope that you will write more haikus on various subjects. I like haikus because they are short but meaningful.

The poem flowed nicely although I would have like it more if it had rhymed, but I'm sure you were thinking more of keeping it simple. ;] I like how you can interpret it as a rose as you projected it in you writing or as maybe a young girl being envious of a woman. Flowers in poetry can always be interpreted in differet ways and I always enjoy reading poems with hidden meanings. Each line was quite short, but got to the point and was very describtive. I like how this poem is short and sweet yet did not disappoint me or bore me. You had no grammitcal errors that noticed, and you used quite vivid words to express the daisy's petals. You have great writing capability and I hope to check back and see you continuing your writing. If you are able to write about a rose with such describtion maybe sometime you should try writing a poem your feelings. I'm sure it would be worth a read. Nothing is more creative then a persons own thoughts and feelings. :3

Have a nice day.

I absolutely love how clearly you convey the idea of changing to assimilate in such an interesting way, and take conflict with just one thing: "so fair" is a compliment; it doesn't entirely make sense for the daisy to be so jealous.

And, perhaps I'm overstepping that invisible line, but I really do hate how drawn to the restrictiveness of haiku you are; it's quite apparent, particularly in this piece, that fitting your work to that structure is stunting your ability to have your poems be so much more beautiful.

"Now she stands with them" is a line that would sound quite a few degrees better if you weren't barred from replacing "with" with "among", but to each their own, of course. Beautifully executed, I will still say.

wow i love it!

i interpret it as "changing yourself to be what you're not - and thats NOT a good thing!"

i loved the line "snowy petals stain with blood" - it really demonstated your point AND it sent a shiver down my spine!

the flower metaphors were very clever. The sadness was well represented.

i loved it.

While this is lovely. I see it another way. In that field she stands alone but that's what makes her different and all the more beautiful. So I disagree with your idea. But you have good form

I like this poem.The meaning behind I got was that newcomer from a different place trying to fit in with the crowd.It was nice in the end that it did.I liked how you used flowers as the analogy to that.

The second stanza gave me a wicked thought.When I first read "Scarlet bead consume,Snowy petals stain(I personally think it should be stained) with blood",a scene of murder flashed through my mind.Never happened to me before,so I liked how it changed my thoughts with only one sentence :P.

This was an interesting metaphor, flowers representing people, or at least lack of wanting to be individual. I liked the last stanza, particulary the last two lines, because I think they really summed up what you were trying to say, but you also made it beautiful in a way, rather than bluntly saying what needed to be said. I didn't really enjoy the second stanza, it seemed too easy, too unoriginal that it took away from the poem rather than adding to it. Also, the second line of the first stanza was great, I just wasn't sure if "pearls" was the right word to use. Of course, I'm being very critical, but it is just something that should be done with short poems I think. Great job.

interesting! not sure how to interpret this.

I have to say, I have something against any mention of tears or blood in poems, especially when the blood is described as being "scarlet".

it's kind of a long story that makes no sense, but I have a cousin who writes poems about tears, and bleeding tears, and scarlet and crimson blood or tears, and it just... grates... haha.

that being said, nothing against your poem, seriously. I just. had to notice that. and it did bother me. but even still, your poem is very pretty and I liked it! and its not your fault that I have an emo cousin.

I like the part about being lost in a ruby sea, though I am a doofus and would have just said "red" sea (how unpoetic of me.), and the last line is a killer, which is a good thing.

"a daisy no more"

those lines are just, like, perfect.

I do like your poem. I realize that my rambling might lead you to think otherwise, but I actually think it's very pretty and a little... hm... interesting. I'm not sure what, if anything, it symbolizes. I feel like the blood is symbolic, but I cant really make up an interpretation for this...

okay, I'd better go before I stay here all day making up boring theories. well done! and great, simple last line. it's... punchy.

I suck at haikus. Yours, on the other hand, well i can't think of the perfect adjective but its brilliant!

I'm thinking the daisy is kind of sad for having been noticed. She's still weeping isn't she? I'm seeing blood here as guilt or something like it.

-nette