Wow, you have some really striking images here. I'm be honest, the first line made me a little hesitant to continue (then again, I'm not really one for love poems). But as it unfolded, some of your lines really took my breath away such as:

"Of a soul deep as the ocean,
Whose tides are tugging at her sympathy."

"Her heart's made of spun sugar,
And with each gentle wave,
He watches the edges begin to dissolve,
And he knows to hold on tight,
To keep her from melting away,
And becoming one with this stranger
Whose liquid eyes have taken hold of her own."

"But he loves this sweet-hearted girl."

^That line really wrapped it up nicely and actually impressed me because it's such a neat play on words.
Good work.^^

I'm surprised no one left any comments for this poem, but that's probably 'cause it seems pretty deep. =D

I love the imagery in this piece what with all the ocean and melting sugar pictures. The detailed descriptions make it very artistic.

"Her heart's made of spun sugar,/And with each gentle wave,/He watches the edges begin to dissolve," - I especially liked this part because I could see the ocean waves eating at the sugar with each approach, slowly dissolving it to nothing.

While you have very lovely imagery in this, I think you delved too much into the beautiful aspects of particular images and kinda left out the main message/point that you were trying to portray with this poem. I don't see a basis on why these two have to leave - I found myself trying to figure that out as I read this poem over and over again, but I couldn't find an answer. Did I miss something while reading this? o_O And uh...what exactly is this girl? She's got a heart of spun sugar, liquid eyes and a soul as deep as an ocean. I'm assuming from the imagery that she's pretty much in the ocean by the end of the poem. Oh! Do they have to leave because she's being swept away by the waves of the ocean? Is she a mermaid or something? (Sorry, there was a sudden bout of revelation. Please do tell me if this revelation is correct or not. =P)

Despite being clueless on the background details, I particularly like how you ended the piece with that rhetorical question. It gives the reader a nice bittersweet feel and allows for the reader (ahem, me.) to sympathize with the poor guy. (ok, so I was trying to say 'nice' as in a nice effect, but not so nice an emotion to feel.)

Ah...one last question. What does the title mean? I just got out of japanese class, so I'm trying to read it as "Poem desu." XD I can't make sense of the title other than the fact that this is well, a poem.

-Lime
*scribbles some words out on the review using sparkly glitter glue*
Rough translation of limecat-scratch: 'Congrats! Here's your RM Prize Review.'See? It's all nice and purdy now!(Well, it's a little messy, but the glitter makes up for it, yea?) ^_^