I love the ending, it works so well. You are seriously developing Bear and Heidi really well! I LOVE this story! please continue.

Really hard-core. Barry cuts himself because of Mallory? she must be more demeaning than I could of imagined. Oh and your writing style is amazing, I hope you keep this story up, I've kind of been caught in the web.

Wow really great chapter-you can tell these to are friends, really good friends.

Okay warning I'm about to be an isty bit critical.
The beginning was a good catch, and well written.
Then when you get in the mid-section (I guess its actually the beginning of chapter one, when we personally meat Mallory) the dialog becomes kind of forced, and although some details are great (the gum behind the teeth, the old lockers) something is left to be desired.
And then everything looks up again in the then, even though the transition from school to the attic is a bit rough, I loved the restling (although I'd personally like to know WHAT Barry wanted Heidi to say, it might be better with the suspense). The details of their friendship were also kind of awesome and amazing. Plus I totally like the idea of the confession gamet.
Over all its a good read, sorry I was a bit criical (if you don't want critique just tell me). I think that even though acording to you bio this is just a block-stopping, the story has potential.
A.

OH and a few other notes
1) the setting sounds like Forks (rainy and in Washington)-although that's probably also cause I just finished explaining to my kid-brother the whole meaning of the lion and the lamb from twilight...
2) I REALLY liked the 50 iq point comment Heidi made about Mallory
3) I'm shutting up now.

Me likeyy!!

this story was so good! i love it!

Your story sounds interesting :) Looking forward for more.