That was very well written! Great job!

Pretty confusing. Although you did explain why a vampire would be tearing people apart, it seems he's on the not so safe side of sane. Bipolar disorder isn’t generally so violent on the downswing (or upswing), so the guy probably has something else. I knew one girl who said she was bipolar, and while she wasn’t really all that violent (any more than a regular person), she also didn’t actually have those mood swings bipolar is so famous for, so I never really believed her (just thought she was crazy).

Using parentheses to explain the story outside the story (an authors note, pretty much) is not a good idea. As part of the narration, it can be very very good, from angsty to crazy to funny. If ever you think you need to use parentheses, try instead to worm the info into the story some other way. Subtle is better than a block of information (subtle as in an offhand comment or remark somewhere).

On a side note. Axel! Luff.

please update soon its realyy good and i want to see it finished

There's honestly nothing wrong with it. You had a few odd phrasings but that's expected, especially on your first story. It takes a long time to get into a writer mindset. The only thing I'd suggest is to find a beta, someone who will edit your work before you post and help with getting ideas across. They even help with writer's block and such if you run into the problem. You'll find a lot of people will help just with reviews and you may make quite a few friends. Give it a try, and keep writing! _ I'll be watching for another chapter or story.

Well it was an interesting start. Even though I could've gone without the details on the corpse thanks. Anyway I would like to see how this vampire goes about doing this (meaning I want to see how bad his swing of emotions is). I hope you update soon.

shik