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Reviews For: Vicious Submission
Unforgettable-PoeticDreamer 2008-08-19 . chapter 1
This is amazing.

I've felt like this recently so I can relate in a big way. The emotion present in this piece is well, amazing!

I have to many thoughts going through my head about this piece to place them in a typical format, so please bear with me.

In the first portion, there are many things (good) that catch my attention. To point them all out would be monotonous, just know that I liked it all. One part that I feel the need to speak about is where you stated at the end:

-
all of them eating me alive
-

This one line is very powerful and illustrates the emotions in the lines before it well; a very good ending for the first part.

The end is very good as well and really shows the frustration throughout the piece, I really like it.

I apologize for what appear to be ramblings throughout this review, but to put all of it simply -

You are an amazing writer and I really like this piece.
only slightly sadistic 2008-08-11 . chapter 1
A very strongly-felt poem. I can honestly relate to the anger and frustration taking place here, and without all of it trying to rhyme and such, it's like the normal thinking process. That alone makes it easier to relate to, I think. Good job. :)
P.S. The title is catchy.
Dragonsofliberty 2008-08-03 . chapter 1
oh, i SO identify with this! and i ADORE the title. great poem.

if i may make a suggestion- i think this could be even a little better if you perhaps tried to replace some of your weaker verbs with stronger ones that better reflect the overall tone of the poem. some of your verb choices are already great- i especially liked the phrase "slaughter my happiness". other verbs, though, seem a little... bland. for example, you might replace "you steal it away and keep it for yourself" with "you rip it away and hoard it for yourself", or "my mouth is itching" with "my mouth is burning". anyway, just a suggestion, i'm not trying to hate on your poem.
In the Rye 2008-07-31 . chapter 1
so far, none of your work really stands out for me. but it seems you have potential, so keep writing.
Broken and Bleeding Wolf 2008-07-28 . chapter 1
I've had many moments like this in my young life. You've captured the emotions you feel during times like that wonderfully,and amazingly true.
Shante 2008-07-26 . chapter 1
Wow...I love this poem...becuz there were so many times that I've felt like this...there are so many people who have yet to feel my rage for them...but instead I sit bac n stay shut...wen all I wanna do is tell them every-little-**-thing-I feel towards them!
underneaththesmile 2008-07-25 . chapter 1
whether you understand or not...YOU ARE a wonderful poet.
I love it because I know there is always that person that makes you miserable and you just want to strangle them half to death, even though you know you can't.

I loved "for a range of emotions, I didn't know it was possible to feel, all of them negative, all of them negative, all of them murderous, all of them eating me alive" that right there is saying so much. kind of surprise at yourself for feeling them, you never knew that you COULD feel that way.

another line I LOVED was "you steal it away, and keep it for yourself" that really made me itch, I thought about it and it's like "yeah, they're doing this to make themselves feel better".

I can see through this, and like I've said to one of my fave authors on here, I swear if you keep writing like this half of my fave stories list will made up of just yours. Which isn't a bad thing though...
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