Well, hello there, icelatte. Nice to see you around these parts; I never knew till you told me.

Ahh, L.O.V.E. What I have to say about the story is that it is generally good in terms of grammar and vocabluary , and that description of events and feelings is generally satisfactory, especially at the last chapter, where the fic shines. However, description is lacking at some parts, noticably 'that part' which happens no less than once per chapter. But well, I sound needy, so I guess I'll continue.

The pacing of the story, and the plot itself, however, was a little too quick. Days and weeks could pass by in the span of one chapter without much elaboration, to the point where the main character's relationship with Derrick was not further explored. You say that they went out for movies and such, but that seemed to go over like a blink of an eye, and was insignificant to the story.

Dialogue, however, was pretty good. Not particulary deep, but it was descriptive, and it fits the context of the story, though I wish character differentiation was slightly more pronounced.

In conclusion, I guess this is one of your best stories that you have written. The last chapter (though you have not posted it up here yet) was, I would say, a pinnacle in your story writing; though the ending was lame on paper, it managed to hold on my attention till the very end, and through descriptions and substantiations, the plot held firm. I could barely stop reading. It didn't make me think after that, but in all other aspects, it was great. Do continue writing and getting better; I guess you would surpass me with ease if you do.