I liked this story a lot! Great job; long chapters, developed characters, a believable plot. Keep it up!

Yay, Jeff and Nat, back together at last!! I loved the little peaks into Jeff's past lives as well, and how Nat always managed to find him again. Question: in the life where Nat was a witch, was the guy with the black eyes Seteth? Cos he would have had multiple lives before he became Seth, right? Awesome end to this story, but you know what? I hate you for the sneak peaks, because now I want to read more, and you're not updating until december! Meanie! :P lol, but good luck with NaNo, and let me know how you go, ok?

Ha! I knew I knew Seth when we saw him with Sasha earlier! So can't wait for his and Sasha's story next! And yay, Jeffery! Nice to see him alive again, and I loved how you repeated events we've seen, except without Nat in them. Nice! On to the next chapter!

This is reall good. Its extremely sad though! I can't wait to read more.
:D

Ahh, so this is leading us into the next story. And it explains why Seteh is mortal in the next one too. But is Nat gonna get Jeff back? She has to, or at least he has to be brought back, cos he's there in Egypt at the very start - without Nat - so he has to come back, right? Gah, I hate trying to work time travel out! Update soon ok? I need to know!

So where are they? And poor Jeff! If only he knew ... still trying to work out exactly what Nat realised when Anubis took Hasani's ka though. I have an idea, but not the details :P I need the next chapter!!

Very cool!! And I have a theory about Hasani. Is he a past life of Jeff's? Cos that would explain why Nat feels drawn to him, especially since she's still in love with Jeff ... just a theory. Jeff is awesome, by the way! I hope Nat doesn't have to leave him forever! And I so can't wait to see what happens in the battle, so update soon!! ^_^

I think I finally understand the very first scene of this story now. Jeff ends up going home, but doesn't remember Nat, right? and then, when he and his dad are digging around in Egypt, they find the statue of Nat, and Jeff knows who she is, but can't quite remember her ... I get it now. Yay! lol, anyway, awesome stuff!! Hehe, I'd love to hear the convo between Osiris and Isis about Sarah! I bet that didn't go down well with Isis! Update soon!! ^_^

Good cliff hanger at the end!
I like Helaine, she seems to be the sensible one of Nat's family.
I'm very intrigued by where this is going, and what role Seth and her father are going to play as the plot unfolds. I'll try and make time to read more.

Awesome stuff! And lots of questions that I don't have answers for ... like what's Jeffery's deal? Why does he feel like he's been to the tomb before? And why were they both guys buried there? lol, I think I have as many questions as Jeff does ^_< And was that really Nat's dad that she saw? I'm sure that they're gonna make it out of the storm ok, but what about the rest of the camp? So can't wait for more!!

Karma had so better bite Sarah on the **. Hard. And I hope that Nat can somehow get custody over Helaine too. And yay for a trip to Egypt! I can sense big developments are coming soon ... will we be finding out what happened to Nat's family? I so can't wait! Awesome stuff!! ^_^

Oh god I hate Sarah! Someone should leave her on a doorstep in the rain! But I do like Jeffery. He's sweet ^_^ Awesome stuff, and I am DYING to find out more!! I'm so loving this!! ^_^

I love the story! the details are excellent, and you have suspense throughout the entire thing... i need to read more im so hooked. i love egyptian things. i want to travel there someday. i love egypt in general!

Interesting story you have here.

Since I love the Egyptian Myths, I'm excited that somebody likes to write about them. :D

Just a few pointers:

Sarah and Elizabeth, to an extent, seem to be a little stereotyped. The stepmother's argument as to why she doesn't like Natalie has gotten a little old over the years. Perhaps Sarah had something done to her by a stepsister or something that made her bitter? I wouldn't know, it just seems that many step-anythings are made evil nowadays.

You missed a couple of commas, nothing to worry about if you go over it again.

I enjoyed this story so far. Keep up the good writing. :)

- MissAvariss

I felt sorry for Jeffery because his dad didn't seem to be very accommodating at all. I'm sure it's possible that there are deities archaeologists don't know about.
I'm intrigued by the beginning. Is the woman the goddess? I was a bit confused by how old Jeffery is though. I think because his father treats him like he is quite young, but he is taking part in an archaeological dig. If that makes sense.

Love your choice of names for the family in the second paragraph. Very apt.

The narrative of the chapter was interesting as well. There was a lot of jumping through Natalie's time line - but I didn't get lost at all. It seemed to hold together quite well.

There are some places where you need commas - although I only know that becaue it's a mistake I make quite a lot.
“What is it son?” - you need one after son
“Dad come here!” - and one after dad.