nice poem.. really liked the way you.. umm.. how do i explain.. aarrggh.. the way you somewhat hid, the aching pain, but oh so terribly failed.. anyway, thats how i felt the poem.. i think, at least for me, the poem exposes the pain of the speaker, but in a way also tries to hide it.. i think.. err,, enjoyed reading it anyway..

Your word choice here is lovely, and the repetition works very well. Good job!

hmm i like the language and style u use in this piece, but i think u could expand on it more in the last stanza. i like the repetition but i just think it could go further.
but its good! :)