I think this piece holds a lot of emotion and it's very true and real but there's a lot of emotion that isn't totally captured and I think it could be. If it was poetry, I'd suggest more imagery but I don't suppose it matters with a song. Probably just me. It's good as it is though :)

aw, that's so sweet and so true! i totally get it! you capture the mood excellently and this could totally be set to music! great job! :)