I like it. It tragic and angsty. (Those are my favorite kinds of poems). Excellent work. My favorite part was the fifth verse.

Raven

Quick review time! That new feature on here an is pretty nifty eh? About seeing the visitor to hit ratio. If you have two Canadas it's me, I somehow forgot I wasn't signed in. Like always. Or so it seems.

Anyway, interesting song. I don't think I saw any errors and I went back to check this time, but usually when I make a point to find stuff... stuff evades. XP The thing I liked about this song is that I had to look back to see if there was a rhyme scheme and the chorus. When you can't point out that stuff, in my opinion, it's good. If you can circle it with a red marker - and I'm sure Shawn would be angry if I did that to the screen - it just doesn't flow the same. I see a lot of stuff on here that once people write a chorus it's the same all the time; you tend to mix it up a little. And I like that more than the predictability.

Favourite segment was: "Shadows, on the pavement! Just pathways to the grave! Swim in the liquid darkness! Maybe this is being saved! Darkened, serenity! In the silence I still hear! Night consumes all of us! But we will shed no tears!"

Another good job, hope to see more from you! XD See you on Sunday!!