I love your choice of words here, I could really see this scene as I read. Nice work with this piece.

ah, so peaceful, the way day melts softly into the night. it sounds like the most beautiful thing in the world through this poem. I never saw nightfall as something like this to appreciate, but now when I look back at the days when I could sit around watching the sun sink into forever, I wish I saw more to it. I swear, this one is so good, I'm getting inspired myself.

I really like the first two lines. I can relate to wanting to draw pictures with what you write down and really be a painter of sorts with poetry. There is a lot of fantastic imagery here, it all works so well to bring the scene to life. I like the last line, but it seems to come very suddenly, or at least to me the ending feels abrupt. I know one reviewer said something along the lines of needing something memorable, well I'm not sure, I do love the picture you make... Perhaps if you dived a bit deeper into the idea of wanting to "draw a picture with words," maybe at the end to give it a sense of coming full circle and a true conclusion. But the imagery and lines you do have here are stellar. Well done!

That was really good! You painted the picture very well.

Amazing!

The details were awesome! I could really picture the scene in my head! Very powerful!

Awesome job!

This is nice, and I agree with the idea that a poem can often be a snapshot, whether of a vision/inner feeling/emotion like this, or something less physical. Anyway, you paint this one pretty well.

What I think is missing is that certain something that makes it memorable. A lot of great painters paint still-lifes of bowls of fruit, but how memorable are those paintings, regardless of the skill with which they're executed?

So "Nightfall." Needs that certain something to elevate it above all the other still-lifes. Sometimes that certain something is one line, sometimes one word, sometimes a surprising rhyme, sometimes a captivating string of words. I don't see it here. Next time.


Luck.