Ah you are amazing and fantasmacorifical and I love you.
I apologize if that was a little odd.
:D

Oh My Godsh
THERE IS A NEW CHAPTER UP!
A Good chapter, and i dont care if you think its ** cos your oppinions do not matter, the readers do. i hope you find your lost mojo.

x
Annie

haha sweet. I so should of been in bed right now, but I promised myself I couldnt read this til I finished my homework...and yeh I totally didnt finish it. lol

Well I totally do know where you live and I will bite you...a) because I found a typo...*shuck* is not in the dictionary. and b) because we're going to be rediculously drunk on saturday night.

Chap was fair sweet - kept picturing James' 21st for some reason.

In my pants. Without my pants.

James. Games. Lames. Bucket. Prawn. Limbs.

Kurados Lava Face the Ninth xoxo

haha th ** shop is my favorite scene.. such wierdness lol.. and chemeistry is there.

So ya...I've read both this one and SITYWAT...and I've got to say...YOU NEED TO UPDATE! I'm usually a patient person, but for this, I'll make an acception...
UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE!!

-Izzy

PLEASE UPDATE!
this story is so great
i want to know more about jamesy!

meww

i am liking this story very muchly :D i read SITYWAT and loved it :D I want a friend like Patrick his mind is so funnies(funnys? um i dont know wich one would be best? meh :P) then i got onto this story and i'm really starting to love nick :D. i didn't have much of an oppinon of him in SITYWAT but now i like him a lot. Sarah/Saral/Wench also has a very entertaining head :D

please keep up the amazingly Awesome work :D
you have a fan right here. :D

and what i love so much more is that this is Australian :D you don't get many stories on here that are Aussie. its like a breath of fresh air when playing Dutch Ovens with a fat truckie that hasn't seen his feet in 10 years... (yes i am fully aware that that doesn't make much sense, but then again neither do i :D :P which is good yehs?)

ok i'll stop ** you off with random truckies and smilies... :D

x
Annie

Truly Amazing (ok i promise no more sucking ups)

Still loving it!
I'm going to keep up and read all of these stories...it's my goal!
(Yeah that's bleak my life is. -_-)
Anywhore, keep it up! ^-^

I was like, "No! Nick and the wench can't be having sex yet! I must've missed a chapter or two!!" Thank god it was just a dream. I seriously though I'd missed a chapter.
The scenes with pizza boy are really cute. I can't wait for Nick and the wench to turn him bi and have threesomes.

You can't kill off Vito! That would be too cruel. If you do, I'll put a hit out on you. And don't think I won't do it to. I know a guy who knows a guy, who dated a guys sister, who's second cousin is friends with a guy who's rumored to be in the Japanese mob...so you see I'm well connected. DON'T PUSH ME! lol ;)

omg i swear to god i hear that song about the apple bottom jeans and the furry boots!

just recently though cause my gay friend mathew sang it to me cause i was wearing furry boots with jeans...and than my step-dad mentioned it to me... small world.

I'm enjoying Sarah's PoV ^^ She's awesome. Ahaha, and Patrick's spazziness is still well intact XD Excellent. I'm also happy to see Isaac in all his emo glory. I have a soft spot for him :P And Vito! Yes, I am very excited by the return of characters :P This was a very cute chapter. Oh, and what a place to get a job...heh. Bet it'll come in handy at some point ^^ Looking forward to the next chapter!

I still love how enthusiastic his dad is :P He makes everything sound so EPIC. Ah, Nick should so get a job at the pizza place. Then he could bug James all the time! :D And, y'know, seduce him, of course. Oh, I liked the switching PoVs...and Khalid ^^ He entertains me. I wonder how much they'll pay James for hanging around at the park? Hm...

So you asked me how I thought you could make the IM convo clearer? Well, I think it was a couple of things. To start I'm still I think the names were confusing, by now I realise Nick was FATMUTHAONACYCLE because it just sounds like a name he'd pick, but back then it was hard to differentiate in the beginning. We didn't know anything about him back then. Also the underline-italics is not visually separate it from the speech enough. You have to look at it carefully in order notice the difference. I'd suggest using a bold font instead. I know it’s seems like a lazy point to make but most people don't read a page really carefully, we tend to skim a lot of it.

As for this chapter, I like it. It's light-hearted (mostly because of Nick) and made smile in places. I like the split POV thing (and the italics work well there) but just be careful not to split it up between too many people at once because that could get confusing. Just something to watch out for. Also your paragraphing, your line spacing’s are inconsistent, sometimes there's one line and other times there's two. It makes it look untidy.

There's no fault with your writing though; funny, accurate and good characterisation. Nick in particular. James seems normal which is a nice change.

X-core

Interesting

So I guess I should hold to my promise and do my happy dance since YOU FINALLY UPDATED. *Does half-azzed happy dance* I got a message the other day from somebody at fictionpress telling me I "Curse too much" in my reviews. ** YOU FICTIONPRESS. Sorry, had to get that out there. Even though they'll **bleep** every effing bad word I say. GAH.


ANYWHO, good chappy. I was moderately pleased (even more so by your hands down my pants. . .woo!) and I think you're crazy for signing up for NaNoWriMo, but good luck? It seems like EVERYBODY is doing it this year. Except me. Because I'm lame and I have horrible writer's block and I'm having sex with my best friend (not BRAGGING or anything) and I hope you update soon. Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?


Luvs, huggles, and a big wet smoochie.