This piece is so deeply symbolic.

I really liked the last part of this. The conversation that
takes place between Renee and Jen is at once about Derek,
and not about Derek.

This 'love' that Renee has goes beyond Derek. It means something else, maybe her love for the States, or something even greater than that.

As always, I love your writing. But somehow, I like this piece less than the first time I read it.

I love the depth of thinking that you put her through. Great job!!

Dude, this is dark. But I like dark and mysterious things, so it's cool. All I have to say.

Review game time!

I really enjoyed this short story. Writ, your short stories seem to be your strength and like Liberation Girl, it is captured here as well. The way you weave sentences and imagery together so subtly is beautiful. In your stories, I feel as though I do not NEED lots of description to understand what is going on.

I can't really find anything I disliked. Your grammar and spelling have had a good run-through and I don't see any run-on sentences. Not that I expected that from you anyway.

Love the Bio mention, especially since thats your major. haha!

I am amazed. I love your imagery and characters. It's real. This story is really interesting and, although I haven't gone through what Renee has and I haven't been to the Middle East, I can relate to this and enjoy it.

I just wanted to let you know that your short stories (namely, this one and Defining as well as Nights) brought tears to my eyes. I think you are an amazing writer, however I do have a bias seeing as I am Lebanese and although I was born and raised in America, I yearn to go back to my home. My home has and always will be Lebanon, it was my home before I was born and it will be the place I die. I just wanted to let you know how much your stories meant to me; it's so rare to see writing from or about people from the Middle East. No one who hasn't lived there (I go for three months every few years) can properly describe the attitudes, scenery, and culture. So, thank you.

I rarely ever review, and I forgot my account password, so if you happen to write anything new, could you e-mail me at ?

aww... i feel sad...
Good story!
Narq.

It seems all of your own shots are so /depressing/. Not that they aren't good - they are extremely well written. But they're depressing. At least, I think so. *shrugs*

Love this story! For a short one shot, the emotional connection between the characters is amazing.

So I decided to review you back right now xD, 'cause I have a little time.

"my dreams of the States are just a red, white, and blue blur." - I loved that line, and the stuff about purgatory. Really well written.

THE NITROGEN CYCLE. OMFG. HAD TO DO THAT IN BIOLOGY LAST YEAR. HATE THAT CYCLE.

xD, the old 'boy meets girl'. Oh Derek, you saucy thing.

I absolutely love your dialogue, by the way. It's so realistic and faithful to how people really talk in conversations.

Ok, Renee is lovely, but throwing away her Backstreet Boys CD? UNFORGIVEABLE.

"The man who calls the desert his home wears its harsh terrain in the hard lines of his face; it is the mark, the beauty even, of survival." - really lovely line. You know, I'm looking really hard for things to criticise here..but so far there's nothing.

There's something really raw and captivating about the honesty of this. It's...just...I really love it.

Derek's a bit...hmm though. I'm not so fond of his stereotyping.

""Open your eyes, Renee,"" - I love how you repeated that line from earlier and have given it a new meaning. I love circular links.

""I'll bury you. Grain by grain by grain by grain..." she whispers softly" - that line is so creepy o_o. I get goosebumps just reading it.

"young Lawrence" - as in, Lawrence of Arabia?

"It's a selfish love, where I don't want to give any of myself, but I want all of him." - wow, that's just...so true. I can actually relate to that.

"hearing her bring it up feels as though I have heard the death knell of our friendship." - you are just..full of so many poignant lines. I like the references to the noise a bell makes too, it made me think of churches and funerals...a really good link.

"Open your eyes. You can't have him." - just...circular...I love it.

I can't really put into words how touching this was. But I won't be forgetting it any time soon. It's like...you put into words the very heart of longing, and delocalisation, and loneliness. This is so...incredible, and above and beyond me. I feel lucky that I was even able to read this.

so sad, so sad.

Strangely, I find it /so/ sad. I've always been a fan of irony, particularly in literature, so I can't find myself to dislike the none-too-happy ending.

I love the main character here; very human, complete with faults that strike home a little bit. And it's an interesting setting, complimenting the story well.

All in all, I love your writing and it'll be in my favs from now on. ;D ;D ;D Great job; I really enjoyed it! xD

-dances.with.sunflowers.

Jen was harsh at the end...not really a great friend. But it was an interesting piece. :)

I really like this story, how it's set out and everything.

The first time I read it, it tugged at my heartstrings.

The second time made me tear. Your language is simple but powerful, as always. I loved this piece -- it feels like you really put your heart into this.