hey, being a slave to an owner who cooks for you? awesome. too good to b true actually

I'm begining to like Tristan after I read this chapter.

so that's what he's working on. how do they get fundings and whatnot? does it work like anormal society? just curious.
thanks for updating!
hope you continye soon

wow. i didnt expect that that was what edom was doing. or that he wuld let him self get that sick

Hm, I have read the first four chapters, and I am definitely intrigued. You're doing a good job, so far, of painting an interesting world. I'm not normally one for vampiric fiction, but this is much better than any that I have read so far. :3

Some things to watch, however:

~I noticed that, as Karalyn ventures into the world of the vampires, she is given several different explanations and backstory regarding the society, presumably for Karalyn's benefit. However, I think that these are, quite frankly, info-dumps. You should not need these to sustain the story. Have Karalyn figure stuff out on her own without being wholly inquisitive. Perhaps she can stumble across something by accident...moreover, just let the nuances of your world become apparent to the reader naturally, without explaining from the author.

~I would appreciate more of a variance between our world and the vampiric realm. It seems as though it might be quite different from anything Karalyn has experienced before. Anyhow, this is just my personal opinion, but it might be something to think on...

Keep writing! :)

Post more asap!

oh. thats so sad.i feel so sorry for karalyn. cant imagine how hard it will be for her.

i'm starting to like Tristan ^.^
thanks for updating
hope you continue soon

Shouldn't Gabriella have known that Karalyn was Edom's just by the brand on her arm? And why does he want to give her away? They seem to be getting along fine...Anyway great chapter ^_^

didn't expect a rebellion so soon. karalyn is still trying to get out even though she does have quite a nice life with edom. its not what she chose but it isnt all that bad. i just dont see how she could get out

Great story so far, update soon.

haha i like the garlic toast part at the end. kill that stereotype right there. anywhoo really great chapter. i like that she is meeting other human slaves and tanya seems really cool i hope to see more of her. the info on the vamps is pretty sweet as well. i love your imagination when it comes to this stuff. keep it up! until nxt time ^-^

"...I’ll make garlic toast.” Haha. I don't really like stories about vampires, but I like this ^_^ Two thumbs up!

im happy that karalyn has got some friends and stuff. it wouldnt be nice to got to the pens. i can imagine how bed that would be. do i detect something goin on with edom and karalyn?

Wow! Unique take on vampires. I'll definitely be reading it again soon! *Adds to favies