Wow.

This is really great. There aren't any errors that I can see, and I'm a huge fan of this story! :D I can't wait to see more of it.

I love this so far!

THIS IS GETTING GOOD! keep it up!

good!

love all chapters and the way the story unfolds keep it up ^.^!

This is really cool still but I find myself more interested in Pierce than the vampires. In fact I kinda skipped most of their part...^_^' I want more Pierce! Maybe you could like make it so that the vampires are introduced in a more subtle way, not just so like, there's chunks of vamps and chunks of Pierce? I dunno. But keep writing! :)

Wow, her cousin is a real brat. I'd totally smack her.

Typo: I knocked, finding the room to be very small and crampt.

Cramped.

Wow... this seriously reminds me of going to woodcrest so much...

Only it's worse.

If that's possible.

Now it switches to Christian, he gets about half the chapter this time.

Oh an artist, hmm...

Typo: Ironically, for 

the first time in my

Random split there.

Hmm this is interesting, and raises many questions...

It makes me wonder how Pierce and Christian will meet.

Stupid laptop died halfway through!

Anyway, Pierce seems to be anxious a lot, and a bit anti-social, two qualities that are realistically connected.

Typo: No. I am NOT going to thing about this.

You mean 'think;.

Typo: I looked around the plane, just to take in my surrounding, reminds myself to take deep, cautious breaths.

I believe it would be 'surroundings', and reminding.

Interesting, weaving in Christianity with your story, a good witness to people, depending on how it will be portrayed.

Tall, tan, and blonde, *sigh*. So true.

Typo: ...the letters matching the plaid shirt she wore with fishnets and black pumps.

Skirt

You will NOT get pregnant. LOL! Good rule, good rule.

'the sheets were pale white and small rose imprints decorated the 
comforter.'

There was a random paragraph break there.

Oh cool, perspective change. I like stories that do that. I've written a few like that before.

Hmm Christian seems interesting, the chapter is longer than the first but he doesn't get much in this one.

Things are getting interesting...

I'll review as I read.

Okay so, this starts off good, and you get a good sense of the characters personality right away. Her feelings toward her mother are also conveyed well. Interesting adding the attribute of anxiety to her, an important character trait.

The descriptions are pretty good.

I think, while the relationship between her and her mother is similar to that of Bella and her mother (the whole reverse roles thing), and the situation is similar to Bella's, it still stands on it's own. Your writing style and character are different that Stephenies, and that's good.

A good ending for the chapter, she's awfully stubborn, isn't she?

Gahh! I started reading this chapter the day you put it up, and then something came up and I couldnt finish it. Finally I get to read it =] And now I find out that I had to stop *right* at the part where we find out she's a vampire. What nice timing. But, I guess i completely forgot about what you said in the summary because I wasn't expecting where she started hunting.

Haha, I found Pierce's grandmother's little speech kind of amusing. I wish I had those rules in my house...

Looking back on the chapter what she said made sense, like about how she said something about repeating her senior year, and how she's too weak to be eating with Garret and Alexandra.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

So we finally know a little about the mysterious Pierce. :D Good job. I wonder where this story will lead? It has a good solid begining that I can only guess will lead to an awesome plot! (or whatever you call those juicy-story middle thingies) :D

I can't wait to read more!

Ciao!

~nicola~

Nice, this is pretty well written and brought your characters' personality across well. I also like the way you showed Pierce's disbelief at her mother while she was leaving. Is this a one-shot or is it to be continued?

The flow is nice, the detailed descriptions are a major plus and Pierce's character comes off as very confused about who she is (which i hope you were going for) All in all its like I said before, an awesome job! :D

Can't wait to see how Pierce changes and evolves as the story goes along. Good job, you've got me hooked! ;)

until then,

Ciao!

~nicola~

Wow, this is pretty freaking damn good! This should DEFINATELY be continued! Your style, the characters, eveything, is so brilliant! Yay! Please update soon!